I said to John, “You know that if you walked around the world, your hat would travel thirty-one feet further than your shoes?”
John said, “I dunno, Dave, but before we make a bomb I have to shave half the dog.”
I nodded. He got up, called to Molly and herded her into my bathroom. I wondered when the Soy Sauce would take effect.
—John Dies at the End by David Wong